When you feel attracted to someone, it’s only natural to wonder if they feel the same way, too. After all, making a move would be a lot less scary if you knew for sure that they were into you. While you may never truly know how someone feels unless they say it, experts say there are several signs of a mutual attraction that you can look out for.
A 2018 study published in the journal Psychological Bulletin found that people behave in specific ways when they're attracted to someone and/or interested in making a connection. The top signs of unspoken mutual attraction? Mimicking or mirroring the other person's behavior, initiating conversation, and wanting to be in close physical proximity. These were followed by more nonverbal cues such as making eye contact as as much as possible, nodding while the other person is talking, smiling, and laughing.
According to researchers, these behaviors not only indicate romantic interest, but they're also related to trust. For instance, if someone's initiating conversation with you or wanting to be physically close, they're also saying they trust you and are interested in making a connection.
There are many different things that can clue you in to how someone thinks or feels about you. Here are some signs of a mutual attraction, according to experts.
What To Do If You Feel Like The Attraction Is Mutual
If you’re shy about making the first move but feel like the attraction is mutual, Manly suggests coming clean by being direct about your nervousness. For example, you can say something like, “I’m a little nervous about this, but I’ve been wondering if you’d like to have coffee with me?” According to Manly, a great deal of internal pressure can be released if you state your fear or concern. The person you’re interested in may be just as nervous as you are, and can relate to this.
If a fear of rejection is holding you back, Manly suggests approaching them in a less direct way. For example, “Would you like to go on a walk or have coffee together as friends?” By reaching out with a more friendship-oriented tone, the possibility of being flat out rejected may feel less worrisome for you. “Starting a new romantic relationship built on a friendship is always a plus,” she says. “There’s no downside to going this route if it feels appropriate.”
Montoya, R. M., Kershaw, C., & Prosser, J. L. (2018). A meta-analytic investigation of the relation between interpersonal attraction and enacted behavior. Psychological Bulletin, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29733622
Michelle Henderson, licensed mental health counselor, owner of Next Chapter Counseling
Julie Krafchick, dating expert and co-host of the Dateable podcast
Christine Scott-Hudson, licensed psychotherapist, owner of Create Your Life Studio
Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking
Jeannie Assimos, dating expert and chief of advice for eharmony
Jenny Muscolo, relationship coach and co-founder of Connection Copilot
Dr. Carla Marie Manly, clinical psychologist, speaker, and author of upcoming book, Date Smart
Michelle Davies, relationship coach and co-founder of The Best Ever Guide to Life
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As mentioned in the article above, signs of mutual attraction include frequent communication, physical touch, prolonged eye contact, mirroring, blushing, and flirtatious behavior. If the attraction is mutual between you and another person, you'll likely want to talk to each other rather frequently.Can you sense if someone is attracted to you? ›
The clues aren't always obvious, but you can see some of them by paying attention. When someone finds you physically attractive, it shows by always making eye contact, always wanting to touch you physically, and frequently initiating conversations.When the attraction is too strong? ›
Key points. Immediately having very intense sexual feelings for someone often comes from a primitive — and dysfunctional — set of feelings and beliefs. People who feel extreme sexual attraction often have a history of psychological trauma, neglect, or addictive tendencies.What causes instant mutual attraction? ›
Why we feel instant attraction to some people, and not others, is affected by lots of different things: mood, hormones and neurotransmitters, how alike we are, the shortage of other partners available, looks, physical excitement, and the proximity of geographical closeness.What are the first signs someone is attracted to you? ›
Here are the typical signs someone is attracted to you:
They tilt their head as you speak (a sign of engagement). They smile at you. They make eye contact with you. They reach out and touch your arm, hand, back, or leg.
They feel like a familiar spirit you've met before. You interact so easily and effortlessly as if you've spent a lifetime together. These aren't things you feel when you are attracted to how someone looks, smiles, or dresses. Intense chemistry feels like a connection of mind, body, and soul.When you feel a deep connection with someone do they feel it too? ›
Chemistry is the emotional connection that two people feel when they have feelings for each other. Chances are, if you are feeling it, they are feeling it too! It can sometimes be difficult to decipher whether the other person is feeling the same way as you are.Can people see attraction between two people? ›
The chemistry between people can be seen in body language or subtle ways, such as eye contact, flirting, banter, constant focus, and losing track of time. If you have chemistry with someone, you can often feel it in your gut.How do you know you have chemistry with someone? ›
Key Takeaways. The instant attraction and that ”spark” you feel with someone is a tell-tale sign of chemistry between you two. If you find yourself making intense eye contact, flirting, and always smiling at someone, you probably have good chemistry with them.Why do I feel drawn to someone? ›
The same interests and values may also be a powerful way people are drawn to someone. When two people have similar hobbies, goals, or beliefs, it might create a sense of connection and compatibility. Emotional connection is another reason why people may feel drawn to each other.
Lust. This describes intense feelings of passion, desire, affection, or attraction toward someone.What causes intense chemistry with someone? ›
Chemistry is born of several different factors like physical attraction, mental stimulation, shared values and interests.What makes a man feel connected to a woman? ›
In plain language: Men often feel most loved by the women in their lives when their partners hug them, kiss them, smile at them, and explicitly offer gratitude, praise, and words of affection. Men also feel loved and connected through sexuality, often to a greater degree than women do.How do you know if a man is slowly falling for you? ›
He's likely to turn his body towards you when in conversation and to make eye contact with you. He may pay attention to you more than others that are around. He's also likely to try spending time with you more than with others when he's falling in love.Can you tell if someone likes you by their eyes? ›
Watch for Their Eye Gaze
Like touch, eye contact triggers the release of oxytocin. When someone is attracted to you, they subconsciously will try engaging in lots of mutual eye contact. They do this to feel closer to you, and because they are interested in you and what you are saying.
Nothing attracts more to a man than a woman with a high self-esteem. A confident woman is independent and can tackle any situation in her life. Even in the long run, the guy can depend on his partner and feel secured.What makes you physically attracted to someone? ›
Physical attraction is often a primal, instinctive reaction to another person, based on factors such as their appearance, expressions, voice, and scent.What are 5 signs someone is interested in you? ›
- They may act a bit awkward around you. ...
- They compliment you often. ...
- They get a little jealous. ...
- They ask questions. ...
- They remember the details. ...
- They want to spend time with you. ...
- They listen. ...
- They lean in when you talk.
- Touch your face and hair when you're talking to them.
- Touch them, casually, on the arm or knee when you're talking to them.
- Laugh at their jokes.
- Touch their arm or knee when you laugh at their jokes.
A “spark” in a relationship might feel warm, exciting, or like the beginning of something new and intense. You may feel that the spark is your initial attraction and the fire resulting represents your love and relationship. However, the fire might feel overwhelming. It could get out of control or burn.
When you feel a soul tie, it's simply the sense that another soul is in your life for a reason. For example, if your life is very busy yet you meet a new potential friend or potential business partner, the sense that you have a soul tie to this person could inspire you to make room in your life for the relationship.What does love energy feel like? ›
Love energy brings magic into present moments. In those moments, people feel lighter, playful, hopeful, happy and uplifted. It comes from clear intention, vision and inner connection.How do you know if you vibe with someone? ›
You can be quiet together.
Interestingly, being able to be still with someone is a sure sign of vibing. You're so comfortable with this person that you don't even need to speak. Just “being” with them is sometimes enough. Energetically you're connected and creating space for quietude, with no need to fill in the gaps.
- They tease you about things. ...
- They make excuses to touch you. ...
- You care what the other person thinks. ...
- You miss them when you aren't together. ...
- You can't stop smiling. ...
- You don't notice others around you. ...
- They pay attention to you. ...
- You laugh when you're with them.
We're commonly attracted to those who remind us of loved ones, such as parents, former significant others, or friends. “Subconsciously, hormones are activated because the other person has triggered some kind of similarity or resemblance,” says Beverly B. Palmer, Ph.Why can't I stop thinking of someone? ›
Often, thinking about the same things over and over again may be related to stress. Sometimes, though, it may be a clinical symptom of a mental health challenge. Having recurring thoughts about someone and not being able to stop at will doesn't immediately mean you have a mental health condition.What creates chemistry between 2 people? ›
Romantic chemistry focuses on characteristics present between two people, including mutual interests, similarity, and intimacy. According to Kelly Campbell, P.h.D., the more present these characteristics are, the more likely two individuals will perceive chemistry between each other.What triggers love in a man? ›
Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.What are the 3 things a man needs? ›
According to Steve Harvey, if you provide a man with these three things in a relationship, he won't leave: support, loyalty, and intimacy.Do men crave connection? ›
Contrary to prevailing gender tropes, many men crave deeper emotional connection, work hard for it and don't always receive it in return.
- He leans toward you during conversation.
- He angles his body toward you in the room.
- He finds small ways to compliment you.
- He makes eye contact.
- He steals a glance at you.
- He singles you out in a group.
- He seems drawn to you in the room.
According to a large 2022 study, men tend to say “I love you” more quickly than women. It takes men an average of 108 days (about 4 months) to confess love and women an average of around 123 days (about 4 months).What body language shows a guy in love? ›
A man in love tends to lean his shoulders towards his love interest. It is one of the indications of adoration. If he leans his shoulders towards you when he's close to you, he's romantic and cares about what you have to say. He will lean in and create a space that incorporates you two.Can other people see chemistry between two people? ›
If the connection between two people is really strong, then yes, other people can sense the chemistry between them. The way these two people brighten up in each other's presence and the way they care about the other person will definitely give others an idea that something is going on between them.How do you know if you have a connection with someone? ›
You know you have an emotional connection with someone when you care about their needs and they care about yours. "When there is an emotional connection with someone, you want them to be happy," therapist Tracie Pinnock, LMFT, tells mbg. "The fulfillment of one's desire is a major part of being happy.What causes intense chemistry between two people? ›
Chemistry is born of several different factors like physical attraction, mental stimulation, shared values and interests.How long does it take to feel chemistry with someone? ›
Three dates is a good rule of thumb.
This isn't a hard and fast rule, but let's say you spend two to three hours together on each date, with some emailing, texting, or phone time in between. That's a pretty fair amount of time together. If you're not feeling any sense of chemistry or attachment, it's OK to give up.
There are few better feelings in the world than experiencing that newfound chemistry with another person. In the early stages of a relationship, even the smallest touch or briefest eye contact is enough to send tingling shockwaves all over your body.Why do you feel drawn to someone? ›
The same interests and values may also be a powerful way people are drawn to someone. When two people have similar hobbies, goals, or beliefs, it might create a sense of connection and compatibility. Emotional connection is another reason why people may feel drawn to each other.Can you physically feel chemistry with someone? ›
"Sexual chemistry is the very strong but ineffable feeling that you feel in your body when you're attracted to someone," says Zhana Vrangalova, Ph. D., an adjunct professor of human sexuality at New York University. Typically, this attraction is physical, but it can also be intellectual or emotional.
When you are deeply connected with someone, you find it easy to spend time apart, doing your own thing. They don't rule your life. They aid your life and support it on a deeper level. A spiritual connection will not take over your life – it simply becomes a part of your life that you can rely on when you need to.